It isn’t a day like any other ,Demi and I are not in the mood for painting our nails or wearing make up and high heels. There is nothing to shine for yet,its not business as usual..I am tired and disappointed. The very soil am stepping on is fueling gender disparity ! The society itself is nothing but a walking frustration.. Oh yes it is! But oh hail my pen and paper because we are about to make it rough for this inconsiderate society and its blame games.
The Kenyan society is rather uncouth, primitive.. It has little respect for it’s women and that’s irrefutable. We live in a world where men are taught and are born to treat women in a disrespectful manner,where men think women were created to be slaves! Women are expected to be the only ones who should bow down to commitment, and Loyalty and morality etc. We are made to believe thats its okay for men to not only take our bodies but also rule our souls..Its supposedly within their mandate to make demands and lay out prohibitions..mama Njeri dont you worry, if he gave you a slap or two for spending four hours in the salon instead of two,take it.Our society feels its right ! Heartbreaking, isn’t it?
Think of Sharon Otieno’s case .The Rongo university student who was brutally murdered not so long ago after her alleged relationship with Migori county governor went all wrong ..Majority of Kenyans showed nil remorse. Most people felt she deserved it for being the “third wheel”, a home wrecker. Its sad that we still can afford to play blame games with victims.Firstly she wasn’t the only homewrecker, the governor should be blamed too! Second she didn’t deserve such a brutal death ,no one deserves that..She just had to be on top to get to the top. We don’t have the right to judge .Do we? The thing is there was a man somewhere who felt he had the right to take her life! Sharon was his to fund,to have,to impregnate and to kill. Nasty..
The society isn’t kind to its daughters ,lets face it .It has been that way since time immemorial! While female sex workers are shamed and arrested for ‘selling sex’ around Koinange and everywhere else in the world ,not a single man is arraigned in court for ‘buying sex’! Instead they match out,scot free and pious than before.This has to stop..It takes two to tango and two to prostitute..Let these grown boys have their share of this moral burden.It shouldn’t be an obligation for just women!
Women also carry the moral burden of preventing pregnancy.Abstinence has been pushed to women. But we as women are bound to getting pregnant! A fact majority won’t swallow..Getting pregnant out of wedlock is a sin that no one wants to be part of ! Try walking in these girls shoes..Dealing with the trauma, the loud shame of being unwed and pregnant, a bulging stomach and no man by their side..As much as abortion provokes outright hostility from the society ,its the same society that prompts it! Lives in jeopardy ,its time to reconsider. If she is struggling with guilt, the grave sin of an illegal abortion,the society is to blame as well .Teach your sons to be responsible. She wouldn’t be all alone if he didn’t walk out .The society should start supporting women who fall pregnant out of wedlock rather than shaming and condemning them to suicides and abortions.
It took women marching on the streets chanting “my dress my choice” slogans to stop daylight stripping of women who are allegedly skimly dressed. Men are brought up to believe that if a girl wears a skirt that shows her legs ,’she is asking for it’ and a fully covered woman is morally perfect .Skin show is equivalent to a lose woman .if this woman gets molested ,people are quick to insinuate how these women brought it to themselves! Thats outmoded and stupid. Morality is never defined by what a woman wears..We need to drop this ” serves you right ” attitude and deal with the issue at hand; moral decadance ,spoilt boys! Long ago grandma says there were no clothes ,and they’d wear nothing more but a goatskin just enough to cover their private parts and their behind.. They walked with their breasts uncovered and no one cared! Were there no men those days ? What now spoilt boy,do you feel like walking through time and shaming them too? Do you feel you missed an opportunity to rip off grandma’s goatskin? Shame on you!
Unfortunately in some cases,women are more ruthless judges than men. Its the same women that raise these men and feed them with these damn ideologies. we need to stop tossing to our own misfortunes. Instill more values to your sons ,teach them how blasphemous it is to look down on women .
In relationships ,women are either the Homewreckers or the reason he cheated !They are expected to nourish men,keep them happy enough not to cheat. In most cases if a couple is unhappy its assumed that the woman isn’t playing her part .A woman is made to feel guilty for not giving her husband what he needed to stay. Ridiculous ..What about men’s part to play? What if men stepped up and assumed their role in the relationship as well? What if the two took the blame and solved their issues ?
Women also need to stop being their own enemy.Stop blaming “the other woman ‘ when your husbands cheat. Its either that one tempted him and the legitimate one drove him away ..We need to stop covering up men’s infidelity ! Its wrong to take blame for their cheating .This cross is too heavy to carry ,we cannot let it pin us down. Its not worth the effort.
We need a new woman !from a whole new morality ..A strong woman who will seek esteem for her personality..who will demand respect for her ego..We need a brand new society too .One that is not afraid to defend its daughters ..One that will honour and elevate its women ..After all what’s a society without women? We matter and we are tired of unnecessary burdens!
Article by Wachira Flor .